Naked Washington: Buns of Stone, Breasts of Bronze

Now available on a CD! Buy it here...

Neptune's Court
Court of Neptune outside the Library of Congress

In February 2002, the Department of Justice purchased $8,000 curtains to cover an Art Deco statue whose aluminum breast was embarassing Attorney General John Ashcroft.

That sounded like a burka... purchased with my taxes!

So I flew to Washington and photographed every naked statue I could find. Then I researched an interesting story to go along with each work of art.

Recurring features tie the articles together :

  • Theme maps pinpoint the location of penises, buttocks and breasts—even horse’s asses and phallic symbols.
  • A “Flesh Factor” rating system grades the naughtiness of each sculpture group on a scale from 1 to 5... and suggests how the Vice Squad might react if the statues were flesh and blood.
  • Light commentary for each sculpture tells about its artist, its subject, the controversy surrounding its creation—one or more of these aspects.
  • Other commentary pokes wry fun at censorship, the absurdities of our government, and the schizophrenic nature of our nation's Capital City.

online mini-proposal
Table of Contents
click on these links

Boy Scout Monument
...where a naked man stalks a clothed scout

Why This Book?
...politics makes me a strange bedfellow

Nearly-Naked Washington
...the original GW's scandalous toga

Schizoid Washington
...the best of cities, the worst of cities

The Court of Neptune
...where naked nymphs and tritons
romp in the spray

Exposing Washington
...observing a Theater of the Absurd

This book deserves a publisher!

Email  to get the full proposal36 color pages !

~ sample photos below ~

$8,000 on curtains to cover up one Art Deco aluminum breast?

At that rate, it would cost millions to censor the hundreds of breasts, buttocks, and penises on public display in Washington, D.C.—at least those which are sculpted and stationary.
I photographed over a hundred different subjects around the capital—mostly outdoor sculpture. I present some of them in this proposal for a photo book titled Naked Washington.
On the following pages I’ve combined visuals, humor, and irreverant politics to mock the current mood of prudery in Washington. This proposal covers 12 of over 60 possible subjects. Some highlights...

Recurring features tie the articles together :

Theme Maps


On the next two pages, check out thumbnails of the remaining articles, then a complete list on the final page...

Market Analysis

This book could be a perennial favorite of D.C. tourists and tour guides, and should enjoy a large initial surge of interest if published during election year 2004. If Conservatives single it out as disrespectful, the free publicity could easily drive even higher interest, and higher sales. Internet buzz could quickly become exponential.

A friend who works at a National Gallery boutique showed a draft of this proposal to the store buyers—and they wanted to stock it immediately! I propose to personally deliver consignment copies to booksellers all over Greater Washington.

There has never been a book like this published. The only work even close is The Outdoor Sculpture of Washington, D.C., by James M. Goode, Smithsonian Institution Press 1974... a definitive but dry volume. The author understood the naughty potential of his subject matter, but chose (or was instructed) to offer shy and subtle black-and-white photos with academic descriptions. Goode’s book is a college course; Naked Washington is a college party.

Dozens of buttocks, breasts, and penises are on display in Washington, D.C.—rendered in bronze, granite, limestone, gold leaf, and oil paint. In a leisurely single day, you can visit:

There is so much more. Come inside. Tour the nation’s capital as never before!

Judiciary Square

Memorial Bridge East

National Gallery East

Congressional Cemetery

Library of Congress