Sample scene from URBAN LEGENDS by Stephen Schlich


Between the coast and the foothills. Nice view. The Mustang
cruises. Jack drives.

They pass a hitchhiker. Jack screeches to a halt.

What're you doing?

THE HITCHHIKER rivals Mickey Rourke at his sleaziest. He
reaches the car and hops in over the side.

Peter shoots Jack a murderous glare. Jack looks back stonily
and pulls onto the highway.

I'm Mickey. Not the mouse. The

I'm Jack.

Ever read Mickey Rat comics? Disney
on drugs, man.


I've got one in my pack.

That's all right.

Thanks for stopping. No one does
any more. Too dangerous. You never
know what kind of nut you're gonna

We don't stop, as a rule.

He stares at Jack. Get it, Jack?

Hitching's dangerous, too. There
was this guy in Texas. Serial
killer. Got his victims on the
highway. Over 200.

No response.

__________MICKEY (Cont'd)
But you guys look okay. I always
carry a knife, anyway. You never
know. Crazy fucking world. Oops,
pardon my French.


__________MICKEY (Cont'd)
How far you going?

Not far.


What a coincidence! Me too.

Peter is getting paranoid. He spots a woman hitchhiking
ahead and slaps Jack's shoulder.

Stop for her.

But you said --

Pick her up!

Don't do it.

Who asked you?

Jack pulls over.

The woman is ADRIAN -- 21, tall, muscular legs, wearing a
dress, heavily made up -- runs up to the car and smiles. She
carries only a big handbag.

She gets into the back seat with Mickey. The two eye each
other warily. The car gets back on the road.

What's your name?


Her voice is strange.

How far are you going?

Adrian says nothing. Peter glances at him, double takes.

Don't I know you?

Adrian's eyes narrow.


She backs up against the corner of her seat and pulls a gun
from the handbag. Drops the falsetto. She's a man.

__________ADRIAN (Cont'd)
Stop the car.

Jack looks around confused. Peter is dumbfounded. Mickey
shakes his head in disgust.

__________ADRIAN (Cont'd)
Stop the fucking car!

Jack sees the gun and hits the brakes. Adrian is jostled.
The gun bobs.

Mickey slams Adrian's hand against the front seat. The gun
goes off. The bullet shoots the upturned sun visor.

Jack stands on the brakes. The Mustang SKIDS to a stop in
the dirt along the side of the road.

Mickey and Adrian tumble to the floor, fighting. Mickey gets
the gun. They wrestle.

Mickey whacks Adrian in the jaw, pushes him over the side of
the car, jumps out after him.



Jack and Peter get out slowly, shaken.

Mickey kicks Adrian into unconsciousness and points the gun
at him.

Stop! Don't shoot him.

Mickey turns.

Why? He was going to kill us.

You don't know that. He was just
going to take our money.

Mickey gets Adrian's handbag from the car.

And then kill us. Are you really
that naive?

Peter recognizes Adrian.

That's your exam proctor.
Hell of a summer job.

But Jack is watching Mickey pull an impossibly thick wad of
bills from the handbag and divide the money into two stacks.

I'm only splitting this two ways
because you guys are so stupid
you're lucky to be alive.

Don't put me in that category.

You insisted we pick up this
asshole. But I'll cut you some
slack. You're not in the business.

In the business?

Mickey looks over at Adrian.

He's a highwayman, I'm a highwayman.
We rob fools like you for a living.
Difference is, he's got no technique.

Peter's and Jack's jaws drop.

__________MICKEY (Cont'd)
Oh, don't worry about me. This is
my day off.

He finishes dividing the money and hands a stack to Jack.

__________MICKEY (Cont'd)
Try not to lose it.

Jack hands it back.

This doesn't belong to me.

You're hopeless. But you know, I
respect that.

I'll take it.

Mickey waves the gun.

Why don't you just keep what you
learned and we'll call it even.
Forget the ride. I'll stay here
with my buddy and you can get on
your way.

Promise me you won't kill him.

Mickey shakes his head and laughs.

Okay, I promise. You're amazing,
Jack. Now get out of here before I
change my mind and take your money,

The two pile into the car and peel out, Peter driving.

Mickey kicks Adrian again but puts the gun away.

__________MICKEY (Cont'd)
Your lucky day, dickhead.

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