Sample scene from MID-LIFE CRISIS by Stephen Schlich

INT - SUPINE DISCOUNT DRUGS - DAY

Still empty. Earl reads a comic book. Walter labels plastic
pill bottles at the pharmacy counter. Filled prescriptions.

A bell hung on the door RINGS as Tiffany enters. She
meanders to Walter's counter while trying to minimize the
tear in her dress.

__________TIFFANY
I'd like some cocaine, please.
Three grams.

Walter's mouth hangs open for a beat.

She smiles, reaches beneath his chin and closes his mouth.

__________TIFFANY (Cont'd)
You are the pharmacist?

__________WALTER
You're Tiffany Bloom.

She smiles and curtseys.

__________TIFFANY
I'll have an autographed picture
sent over. Can I have my coke
now?

Walter works his mouth wordlessly. Finally:

__________WALTER
I-I need a prescription.

It's Tiffany's turn to skip a beat. She gestures and
exaggerates a Mexican accent:

__________TIFFANY
Badges? We don't gotta show no
stinking badges!

Walter squeaks out an uncomfortable laugh.

__________WALTER
I don't know if we have any.
There's not much call for it.

__________TIFFANY
Could you check? It's important.

She produces a $100 bill and stuffs it into Walter's pocket
with a wink.

__________TIFFANY (Cont'd)
Keep the change.

A beat. Walter goes into the fishbowl room behind him.
Tiffany checks out the pill bottles on the counter.

Earl watches her like a hawk.

The bell on the door RINGS again. It's Edward Gorham.
He stops near Earl but calls to the back of the store:

__________GORHAM
Hello? Anyone here?

Walter returns to the counter. Tiffany's gone.

__________GORHAM (Cont'd)
I'm looking for Tiffany Bloom.

Walter looks around, bewildered. Where'd she go?

He feels a hand on his leg. She's hiding under the
counter! She holds an imploring finger to her lips.

Walter looks from her to Gorham and back as if watching
tennis.

__________GORHAM (Cont'd)
A beautiful, blonde bitch. You'd
know her in a minute.

Tiffany flips him off from her hiding place.

__________WALTER
She, uh --

Her hand creeps up his thigh.

__________WALTER (Cont'd)
-- she was here.

Gorham heads for the door. Tiffany SNEEZES. It's a
light, hissing female sneeze. Gorham stops, looks around.

Tiffany lifts her hand off the floor and examines it.
Dust. She SNEEZES again. Gorham looks straight at Walter.

Walter pulls a handkerchief from his pants pocket. He
BLOWS his nose and shrugs.

Gorham frowns and leaves without a word.

__________WALTER (Cont'd)
He's gone.

Tiffany gets up and kisses him lightly on the cheek.
Then she flaunts her body, caresses his arm and pours
on the honey:

__________TIFFANY
Thank you --

She scans his name tag.

__________TIFFANY (Cont'd)
-- Walter. I hate that man.
_____(beat)
Am I a beautiful, blonde bitch?

Walter's flustered. Earl is slack-jawed.

__________WALTER
I-I don't have any cocaine.

__________TIFFANY
Nobody does any more. Well, what
DO you have? Darvon? Percodan?

She sorts through the prescriptions on the counter,
finds one she likes, and takes it.

__________TIFFANY (Cont'd)
Codeine. That'll do.

Walter reaches for the bottle. She holds it out of
his reach, casually.

__________WALTER
That's a prescription.
_____(beat)
I could lose my license.

__________TIFFANY
God, I hate the provinces. Listen
to me. I have a standing
prescription at Hollywood Drugs.
I'm not some druggie off the
street. I'm Tiffany Bloom!

__________WALTER
_____(pleading)
You were so good in Special
Delivery. In all your films.

__________TIFFANY
This is real life. And I'm just a
tired actress who wants a little
buzz.
_____(beat)
You've seen all my films?

__________WALTER
_____(proud)
More than once.

__________TIFFANY
You need a life. Come to think of
it, so do I.

She leaves -- with the prescription. Earl tries to stop
her, but she brushes him aside.

Walter stares after her, then shrugs at Earl.

He remembers the $100 bill, pulls it from his pocket and
frowns at it.

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